Girl Journalist

…everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
…you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
…there is a cubicle in the library that is “yours.”
…you look forward to summers because you can study more productively without the distraction of classes.
…you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
…you consider all papers to be works in progress.
…professors don’t really care when you turn in work anymore.
…you have give up trying to keep your books organized and are now just
trying to keep them all in the same general area.
…you have accepted guilt as inherent feature of relaxation.
…you find yourself explaining to children that you’re “in 20th grade.”
…you start referring to things in Latin phrasing, as in “Snow White et al.”
…you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting
scurvy.
…you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.
…you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
…you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
…you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
…you have difficulty reading anything that doesn’t have footnotes.
…you understand jokes about Foucault.
…you consider caffeine to be a major food group.
…you’ve ever brought books with you on vacation and actually studied.
…Saturday nights spent studying no longer seem weird.
…the professor doesn’t show up to class and you discuss the readings anyway.
…you can read course books and cook at the same time.
…you hope it snows during Spring Break so you can get more studying in.
…you find taking notes in a park relaxing.
…you find yourself citing sources in conversation.
…you’ve ever sent a personal letter with footnotes.
…your glasses prescription is 3x stronger than it was a year ago and you
have carple tunnel syndrome because 90% of your time is spent in front of the
computer or reading, 8% of your time is spent in class, and 2% of your time
is divided among eating, sleeping, shopping, TV, laundry, and socializing.
…you use words that only the people in your classes can understand.
…some of those continuing education classes sound interesting.
…the last time you watched TV, Brenda was still on 90210 and McGuiver was making bombs out of duct tape.
…you utter the words, “school comes before sex.”
…studying keeps you awake.
…a complete dinner might be a bagel with cream cheese and a Diet Coke.
…a full night of sleep is 4 hours and a 2 hour nap mid afternoon.
…the last time you worked out, women were wearing little rope headbands and legwarmers.
…if you actually do workout, you have mastered the art of studying while
on the bike or stairmaster.
…when you tell people your thesis topic, they blink repeatedly and purse
their lips while attempting not to burst out laughing.
…you consider cooking and cleaning your apartment leisurely breaks from real work.
…5:00 p.m. Friday means you are now scheduled to work for the next 48 hours.
…you have every minute of the next four months planned out but have no
idea what you are going to do for the rest of your life.

(special thanks to my fellow grad student, Patrick Lafferty for forwarding this to me)